D-Day

I knew this day might come, just hoped it never would....

Got in to work, ah nice day.. well apart from somethings being a little off due to other people being stupid but nothing new there eh... Driving home thinking of the fun weekend I'm gonna have cos my mate will be down all weekend and I can sit and relax, chill out and kick ass on-line all weekend...
but no almost home and my mobile rings... My sister, problem at home.. Don't go home come to her house... So I go and well get told someone whom I wish was dead (I don't wish people dead very often believe me) is in the what I consider my house, and I can't do **** all about it...
Weekend almost ruined - saved though cos I don't need to really leave my room :D

More Computers - Later

Hmmm dived into computer shop after work since i thought power supply for it was going, no they said try the processor in another board which I did and the same result - argh had to shell out for new processor / Heatsink & Fan as I needed it that day as they I do get a replacement CPU but not until it's been sent back to suppliers now... so there is 64 quid down the drain - well not really - just money I don't need to spend later when I get another system together lolz

Computers

Don't you just hate when something decides not to work, hmm my other pc is set to start up a specific time each day... yesterday it started but didn't start (i.e. power on but no-one at home) and I ain't got time to see to it as I got work.....
I come home from work - left it on cos I couldn't be bothered - power up and it start wierd, mind you been doing this for past few days :-S

Today it wouldn't start - went to work - came back still nothing, tried power supply - nope, video card nope - thought stuff it... I'll get back to it later...

The Party

Well it was erm how can we say, interesting... knew exactly 7 people at this party, there was like 60 or so there... I just sat down in a nice quiet spot at the back away from the main load of tables, sipped on my Irn Bru and kept quiet as much as possible, damn DJ played a few song or Dance Mixes of a few songs that hurt a little, but the almost killer blow came later, my ex sang her favourtite karoke song -> Roxette - It Must Have Been Love....
Some how I kept it together - if i had been drinking alcohol I would have been out of it... totally out of it...
I just wanted to leave but im a coward and didn't, im not as strong as I thought I was... I should have left but that would have left ???'s too many ???'s
Oh well at least i didn't have to step back into the shadows again...

Working...

God damn I was ask to work today, No way I said...
little or no notice so NO will be the answer to that one..

Me, My Mate & Harry......

Woo hoo been invited to go and see the new Harry Potter movie by my mate since her friend don't want to see it and I want to see it and we both don't want to look stupid by going seperatly to see it :> I like friends like that..

Party

Hmm I guess I'll be going on my own to the 21st I've been invited to, as mate can't make, they got something else more important on that weekend...
Hey Im cool with it, means more fun can be had maybe :>
but no "exit" route without look suspect.. oh well ;)

From The Shadows......

Hmm thought it was time to add a new entry... so here goes..
Ah Summer is here, more sunshine in my life :) and Im not just talking during the day ;)
I think I'm finally stepping from the shadows into the light, letting it touch me, soothe me, recharge me... no longer do I hide from the light..
ah it feels good :) maybe I should just hibernate :P or drink more fluids ;)
darn not being hydrated enough will send ya a little screwy :D only just finding that out... it explains a lot

Peace Out ... :)
*sending out a gentle bearhug to all who read this, the kind that warms from the inside out*

What a Day

Hmm Had to work today, I know everyone else off today and I had to work thank god for radio, Radio 1 to be precise they did a 10hr pick your own songs type show and it was a cracking good show apart from one glitch...
Why oh WHY would anyone in their right mind want "Spice Girls - Wannabe" played - full listing is available at the website just look for "10 hour takeover" or similar
I got to clean the house over the next few days ARGH I hate cleaning..

Films

Argh!! Darn it Can't watch any of them... DVD drive appears to be broken either that or the software has gone and died... Argh wasn't able to watch anything... and I won't until I can figure it out and get it fixed

Easter Weekend

Oh the joys of easter, hmm well maybe...
Lets see this year I've not got any easter eggs and not bought any not even from my nephew, mind you he'll get enough from other people..
I also got work the long weekend :| oh well at least it should be quiet at work - well maybe....
Hmm learned a new command today: End What If :)
I've stuck a whole load of them in the program that is my life...
Ah! much better...
Hmm the only things I now got worry about is watch Film to watch next

No More Alcohol.....

Though it was about time I stuck another entry into this online diary of my life (what there is of it).
Well I decided a few weeks ago that I wouldn't get anymore alchol like i normally do when Im not working the next day, so far so go, been almost a month.
Alcohol wasn't "doing anything" for me, wasn't helping me forget, was more like showing me the "darkness" Not a Good Idea at all.
I watched Donnie Darko the other week on DVD and I got it 1st time, got me thinking it did..... Life is what it is and nothing can change that even if you could change time other things you might not want to happen will happen... A Paradoxical Thought eh..

"The Darkness....."
Hmm why I still go back to all the point of my first true relationship, looking for things I could have done differently, things I should have done, things I shouldn't have (possibly), should have said, should never have said (words can hurt greater than any blade can). Think IF ONLY, but now it's too late for that.
Those who say "you'll get over it" or "go out and find someone new" have never felt the true pain of breaking up with someone you deeply love.
Im one of those people, I wear my heart on my sleeve, what can I say...
I show my emotions the full range, I cry, weep, sob, smile, laugh, giggle, glow with inner happiness, blush, grimice and all the other emotions you can feel... although the negitive ones don't get to rear there head that often, I try not to bear grudges etc..
There I've Said it.. Heartache takes Time but at least I can say "I feel"

Ponderance

Hmm well lets see it's Sunday, I didn't get up until Afternoon, Dang this cold... Mind you I suppose I am fighting it...
Hmm my mate was around the other day, dropped of a game called Tetris 4000, hmm intrestingly ADDICTIVE game, 2 games, many levels and difficulty settings also, you can put your own music in the background .......

Modems

How is this for stupid, my modem dies and I'll be able to get broadband at the end of the month.. Hmm oh well get a new modem in a few days when Im not working

Life Errors

Hmm I don't know if Im up, down, to the left or to the right....
I'm all over the place, some days I just feel like crying for no reason... wierd.... ARGH!

Ponderings and musings

Hmm well that time of year approaches, just another day to me.
I get to watch all the romantics in the world do all the romantic stuff like flowers, cards and stuff.. hmm fun...
What will I be doing... working, but it won't be without some fun....
Boy setting up the office staff they way I have is so much fun...
now I really must figure out how to / who to get to do some flash for me :>
I know you'll all tell me it's simple but heck I can't get my head around it yet..

Having Fun and on the rebound still (so keep away :P)

Hmm What a Day

Hmm it's been one of those days at work, you know the sort where you wanna just come home half way through but stay on just to say you did it...
hmm well colleague went to set up a CCTV camera on a remote site and all went well till he turned it on... and the gremlin of a Duff Connection reared its head.. BT said the line was okay (it wasn't) well got the camera up eventually and got it all running and as then it died totally, I left with it down... oh well thank god I got a nice 4 days off to relax in....

Happy and Tired

What a Week

Hmm well what a week...
Windscreen got scratched and needed replacing.. the bit that caused the scratch I can't get till tuesday at the earliest (dang cars)
Hmm work is work.. loving winding my boss up with the "affair" me and the company sectary are supposed to be having... lol what a laugh
Hmm decided that having the slowest machine as the main machine wasn't on.. besides I want 5.1 Sound :D shame it takes so dang long to re-install Everything.. Power cuts excluded...

Well I'm off to sleep / have some fun or both ;)

Hmm Interesting

I ask the Question, What made you think we were drifting apart / why didn't you say anything yesterday and so far nothing... odd oh well....
What is one to do eh?

Woke Up and Found The Sun / It's Good to Talk

Hmm woke up this Morning and saw the sun... Yeah The Sun you know that Yellow Star about 93 million miles away that provides heat and stuff, that... (Previous entry was erm "late / early") and after that entry someone got on to me... hmm Thank you Sav... Made me see sense when I wasn't sobar (hmm interesting)..
But I woke up this morning and felt better, hmm It's part of the healing process.
I care about the answer to the question but it's not important now...
Oh I took someone elses advice as well give my PC a "minor" upgrade, well my K6-3-400 got retired I replaced it with a XP2600+ :D just to crunch :P