Who am I?

That is a rather good question don't you think...
Let's see I'll be 35 soon, I stay will my mum, always have really..
I'm really not one for going out at all.
I don't smoke, I drink on a Friday / Saturday night IF i feel like it and can afford it.
I'm a quiet and shy person, happy to let others shine.
I was bullied at school since I was "bright","different" and yeah one of the smallest to boot.
I'm happy to help others.
I'm being the strong one for my mum and my sisters and everyone else who needs me.
I think I'm loosing my mind..
My day is wake up at around 7, get cup of tea and slice of toast for breakfast, check my e-mail and other stuff on my pc while eating breakfast, drive to work getting the paper on the way, work sometimes challenging sometimes not, drive home again, eat dinner, maybe watch the simpsons, grab a shower, sit at pc rest of the evening, go to bed and try to get to sleep maybe getting to sleep at 1am.
Saturdays I generally sleep a little later till maybe 10, shower, check e-mail (well clear the spam out), take mum to lunch then for the weekly shop, back home on the pc after putting shopping away making a cup of tea sometimes.
Sunday is like Saturday but with the lunch and shopping.
I do sometimes look after the nephew so Shopping is either done later on the Saturday or on the Sunday depends.

It's all I see to have the inclination to do.

Ya think I need to get away from it all?

Who listens to the listener...

Who listens to those who listen and help others out?
Who helps those who put others before themselves, hearts on sleeves and all that.
The quiet, shy ones, those willing to stay out of the light so others may shine.

I need help, I think I do - I'm not sure..
I was plucking up the courage to ask someone out when well someone else beat me to the punch, the trouble being they are also a friend of mine, and well you don't steal your mates girl do you... I had to tell her though so she knows how I feel..
I see them "together" and it hurts, between that and the cold I have my emotional state is well "off", just a little.

I need to open up more but well I've always been one to lock it away, no-one needs to know my problems they have enough problems of their own don't they..

Just pray for me dear friends, just pray.

Another month is almost gone

Hmm it's almost the end of June already, where the heck has time gone this year.

Let me see what's been happening, well couple of new people starting at work to replace some that are leaving, all I will say is this "thank god, amen!".
Oh yeah if you like cherries, try and pick up some Spanish Picota cherries, if it says anything other than "product of Spain" it lies and you should report the supplier for fraud as well these cherries have well let's just call it "international food copyright" I would say they are good but got some on Saturday afternoon with the shopping and by Sunday they were finished, nice sweet juicy and most snackable.
I'm off to see Transformers 2 on Wednesday and Harry Potter on the 15th got my tickets for both.
Oh I am no gardener I have discovered this although I've not really killed anything well maybe one or two things that weren't in the best of health and got a little dry although I am watering everything pretty much every day that it needs it, if I not too frazzled! I have been picking fresh peas as well although they were meant to be planted outside of the greenhouse someone didn't think right and well lets just say they grew a lot quicker than they thought and thus got stuck in there since it would have been foolish to try and move them as I discover when I tried to move one slightly it's now almost dead, hanging on in there.. there is one corner that pretty much dead it's was a stupid place to plant something it's where the outside tap is in the corner where you don't really pay it any attention so not really my fault, my sister is the gardener not me..
Oh Mel, Laura, Barb I've had to repot those lilies you sent and I think I may have to split 1 maybe 2 of them into smaller plants as they are getting rather big and out growing what pots I can find, maybe I should go get some more pots?

Evening All

Well I finally managed it, finally 685 quests completed in Kalimdor - Loremaster of Kalimdor completed and since I've done the Loremaster of Eastern Kingdoms, the Loremaster of Outland and the Northrend Loremaster acheivements already I can now use the title "Loremaster" :) and I got a kick ass smart Tabard to go with it :)

Me happy bunny, had a "guildmate" help me, well I say guildmate but well I'm not in that guild anymore due to well a complete asshat who's pissed me off once too often and well now apparently feels "bad" about me leaving, shame since I said "I won't be back" and I won't be no more "Ancient" guild for me... I have all the people I call "friend" on my in game friends list as well as various other places too so I can still reach them anytime.

Good Morning all

Morning all, it's a lovely sunny may morning here right now.
I did feel like doing some work in the garden but then my lower back decided it wasn't in the mood and now feels all tensed up, not good really..

I need to figure a way of getting rid of all the brickwork that isn't required in the garden taking it to the local recycle centre was the plan BUT my poor car just well can't take much of it at time, the joys eh... My sister had the idea of a skip but to me there just isn't enough to warrant a skip even although now I see it it's a lot ARGH!

Well I'll be getting a call at some point about that no doubt, speaking of calls I should either get a call or a text from my workmate at some point saying he's a dad again, I feel for the kid already....

That is all for now, I'm going to find me some coffee...

When things just don't work anymore

Hmm well last night was the final straw, I couldn't figure out why the my connection was so patchy, slow, sluggish or just STOPPED! You ever tried to connect somewhere and waited a minute or 3 for a page to "Load" and this is just a standard nothing fancy page. I figured it was either the network card in the machine, the cable or the router, I redid the ends on the cable - nothing.
I managed to get drivers for another Network card to load up and run on here and tried that - nothing.
So figured it's either still the cable or it's bleeding router.
It was the bleeding router, I suppose I should have realised I guess it wasn't build for the load I've put through it, well it would speed up after a while but then would just go slow, fast, slow, fast, now replaced and the setup replicated on the new one as much as required.

Pages load instantly or pretty much instant now. I can talk again on the guild ventrillo with out it a pp e a ring to cu tt o u tt etc..
Happy Bunny again...
Will need to test all the ports are forwarded correctly of course.

Slight Panic!

Okay what would you do if you've just blow all the dust bunnies that have gotten into your PC and then went to fire it back up and well it works for like 2 minutes and then reboots on you or worse your monitor goes to sleep yet the pc is still on and the mouse / keyboard don't waken it up...
I had this, I swapped the Graphics Card out thinking it's ****ed, no that worked then rebooted on me, and then again and then again..
I left it off till today when I was going to see a mate so took machine along anyway..
Power Supply Fan, hmm it's not turning it had stopped working and was thus not actually cooling down the PSU and that's why my poor PC was acting all odd
All sorted now nice new 120mm fan in the PSU and we are good to go.

The catch up thread

Okay I do apologize for not posting this past week but well I've been busy
I've had my aunt up for the week and I've sorry but I've probably updated people on Facebook more often...
Well Tuesday was mum's birthday, I won't tell you her age, just old will do..
I must admit she is getting worse, imagine your kid when they were oh 3-4-5-6 yr old and wanting attention more and more, this is what mum seems to be doing if she's not center of attention she'll do something nothing drastic just something so she's center of attention once more and well I thought I could go from, if you'll pardon the expression here, 0-bitch in 2.2 seconds, mum does it way faster and later on looks like nothing has happened, and probably wouldn't remember if asked.... No wonder my wonderful sisters, oh how I do really LOVE them honest, don't want to come near.
I mean there are ways of sighing, it's a long drawn out one and well it really gets on probably both my sisters nerves when they are on the phone...
I'm not making it up here but I do believe for week my aunt was here she actually got worse..
I mean take for example Sunday there, we'd just come back from shopping and I had already said to my sister I'd take the nephew bowling, now mother knows most if not ALL weekends at some point I take nephew out somewhere, I said to her where I was going, I named the town where my sister says, I say town more a village squished between 2 towns really, and she though I said Rosyth, now how she got that from what I said I've no Idea, I said no not Rosyth, and said the name again a little louder,
so your going to Barbara's then, I went Yeah, the reply was Well I hardly though you were going to Wendy's and started of a question, I went I'm going to take the nephew out, I mean it was Obvious what was going to be said, and I said that, well "BOOM" stack blown, from nice to nasty in 1.5 seconds flat, give or take, and she ranted on, I just let here, "... away you go and come back and get up for work in the morning and come back I'll be here...."
I switched to bitch mode and snapped right back with something she'd said to us, "You don't like it when we speak to you like that, so I don't like it when you do that" or something I was slightly MIFFED...
Oh away you go....
At which point the car key I had in my hand was thrown backwards bouncing off the door not far away, I went I won't bother...
Oh I, make me feel bad .....
In truth I was shaking with anger and I knew It wouldn't have been fair on anyone seeing me like that so I just had to "Zen" a little, I had something to do on my pc and did that and went away, I erm "LOST" at bowling totally, no focus at all.
I came back after dropping nephew off and well mum was in bed and was totally normal again like it never happened..
Her memory is shot, she claims to have pretty much a permanent headache..
Hopefully the Doctor's Appointment that's been arranged will sort this out, it's with the Doctor that don't take no crap, who I've yet to meet, I may suggest that he give me a call just to put his mind at ease that nothing is being made up ya know..

Time to go Zen some more,

Valistar Blood Elf Frost Mage from the Guild Ancient on Boulderfist Realm.
Fire and Ice are a dangerous combination didn't you know.

One Year today / Something new

It's exactly a year to the day, it's also Mothering Sunday here in the UK, so today is HARD..

I was going to make a new post but 2 posts in 1 day isn't something I do..
So I'll conjoin what else I have to say to here

I'm on Facebook, that is all.

Pause........

I think I must have put myself on pause today, yesterday was okay nephew made it to 11.
Today was a day for pausing and reflecting on stuff, why well today my dear dad would have been 76..
Yeah I did cry a little but that was only due to a friend telling me about a phone call they'd gotten which sucked..

Now it just getting tougher,
My Aunt is coming up in just over 2 weeks to "help" out,I have to pick her up so I'll be telling her to back off as much as possible not take over as mum needs to do stuff herself to actually exercise even just a little.

The joys..

Post Valentines Day Post

Well it was last Saturday but I kind of forgot to post then, lets see how exciting the past few weeks have been...
Well we have the new car, nice isn't it.

Mother fell again, all I heard was the thud and she was at the bottom of the stairs having had her sleeping pill and had a few drinks :| she has been told that if she wants anything from downstairs to ask me and I'll get it, she also decided to empty the dishwasher first..
Well she was all bruised but nothing major apart from what she had on her plate being all the way down the stairs it's a light brown carpet and she had black cherry or raspberry yogurt, it's been cleaned Today. So I spent the next day looking after her as she was all sore, this was after mother was told off by my lovely sister.
Ah Valentines day, well lets see I did lunch and shopping with mother and went bowling with the nephew that's how exciting it got for me although I did cheer someone up by giving them a quick call - Hey Laura :)..
This week has been well crap as I've not been feeling brilliant actually make that the past fortnight it's going..
There was a meeting hastily called on Wednesday that well didn't go according to anyone else but MY plan, needless to say my sisters are trying to pin it on mother, saying she wanted the meeting, I don't know who to believe anymore again. I don't think that will surprise anyone, oh wait I know why I am so much like my father...
OH yeah baby you better believe that one, not a day goes by I don't think about him in some way, well I look at myself and well I am my father's double...
I'm slowly sorting stuff out in a way that helps me, just not fast enough for anyone else, but HEY TOUGH...

That is all..
I'm off to do "Lunch" and then shopping..

Happy Dance....

*Does the Happy Dance*
Literally just picked my new Ford Ka, hmm let see
Air Con - Check
Central Locking - Check,
CD Player - Check
Smart assed look - Check :)
Quiet Engine - Check - no noisy exhaust :P

May post picture later it's a bit dark to post one now..
Looks like I'll be poor for a while...
Heck it's worth every penny...
Now just to find the owners manual.....

Got a brand new motor....

Well nearly new it's an upgrade of the one I have at the moment. I don't have it just now but come Wednesday evening I will be the owner of a nice 07 plate Ford Ka with well about 7,000 miles on the clock which is nothing, given the Ka I'll be leaving behind has about 66,500 miles on it and it could easily do another 12,000 if the bodywork could have held up..
I looked on a few websites, had a look at prices, was going to phone around a few places but the 1st place I phoned won me over right away saying there was an 07 plate Ford Ka that had just come in. It's a nice metallic red color absolutely beauty and since I already know how it drives it will be a real sweet drive. The only thing stopping me was the price nearly £ 5000.00 but I looked at it and well kinda no way back once I'd seen it.. So I've got the cash together and will pay it in full when I go to pick it up. They are being generous and giving me £100.00 for my old car which isn't bad given the age and the fact it's gotten a bit of rust.

Does the happy dance, I got a loan from the bank of mom, hey her idea not mind I didn't go asking for it she offered and I well I don't normally do this but well she knew I needed a car and that the "cash" would be the issue, so I'll pay her back but minus the lovely interest I'd normally have to pay, I just hope the transfer goes through without a hitch else I'm screwed!

I know I've been kinda busy

Well dear reader today is a monumental day, the day the most powerful man on the planet isn't a white Texan, some guy called Barack Obama, Mr President good luck, your gonna need it.

In other news, more important to me at least it was decided to roll out what I'd been working on, tweaking and screaming at over the past few months. Decided to put it live and see what breaks since a bit of it is "Hacks" to get around stupid IE 5/6 issues I know who uses IE 6 - I did ask and someone does still use it, it works they say so why change so I coded for it that was the freaking challange since IE 6 doesn't understand "transparent" images of anything more complex than a gif - animated or otherwise - 1 color is transparent and that's it loads of fixes put in place..
It went live a few bugs found, fixing them major one I've just fixed it didn't resize the page if you resized the browser it does now to a point there is a minimum to which it will go, i'm going to be decreasing that minimum so it fits in a 1024 x 768 screen (with a graphs resized) - standards is going to be 1280x 1024 although I'm going to sneak it to be my screen res which is in between them both.

http://stats.free-dc.org/stats.php?page=index - the index for my team stats pages..
It's been voted the as one of the best stats sites...

Happy New Year 2009

Well folks it's now 2009, not the 13th month of 2008 just so you know...
Hmm I got a few things for Christmas, not much but then again I wasn't expecting much.

Christmas was interesting, I got to set up my nephew's new TV so he could play his new PS 3.
It has plugged into it a PS3, PS2, Nintendo Wii, a PC and a Personal Video Recorder - Digital recorder with inbuilt tuner for Digital TV..
I said later on after I'd set it up as a "joke", that the only reason I was here was to set it up, to which I was "TOLD", "I could have set it up", let's just say that's the last time I set anything up, I just "LOOKED" and went "Fine!" only to be told off once again for being "Moody!".. Well fuck me... Whatever!.. That particular sister is starting to piss me off, well she did try and sell me her car, didn't want it, did think about it more I thought the less I liked the car, she now has a newer one, So What.
I was working boxing day, off the weekend and working last week apart from New Years Day itself, that in itself was a first never had both off at work before.
Oh I've hit level 80 in World of Warcraft with my Mage, now due to other things I really won't be playing him much, just to piss people off, well if other people in my guild will talk about me behind my back and have me demoted from officer the screw them. They gotta problem with me they should say to me direct, Never mind my loss in the end but well so what I just don't care anymore may go find something else to do.

I know like reading the latest Kinsey Milhone book I got myself looks a corker with a really good twist, I mean she's good but the other one is better and playing her at her own game!

Anyway dear reader,

Have a great 2009. I do hope you've not to much of a hangover :-P. I have a bottle of Bailey's to open yet.

I have code to write and I think I'll just go find some music to listen to while I do all that..


May peace be with you in you heart.


Gordon

Merry Christmas to one and all (Part 2)

Now after I finished that post I realised I had probably left people out. Now I have not deliberately though..
Now here I do hope to change that, I missed out many of my CL:1 friends and real life friends.....

To Rusty & Rose better know to me as Rusty and his boss :P, well she does wield a heavy bottomed skillet rather well I here and can load a rifle pretty quick too, well they is from Texas after all. I hope the new job works out better than the last one, and that next year I hope me n rose can actually figure out what the heck each other is talking about.
To Ronnie, dude you've been through so much crap this year I hope next year is a whole lot better, or at least the nurses stay "cute" ;).

To Sheen, may you continue to confuse the newcomers in the lobby into thinking your something your not.. I still remember when I first heard you on voice that was interesting.

To Mr & Mrs Spingles, I hope you 2 have a wonderful 2009, oh that and that Calvin the cutie that he is behaves himself, although I doubt it very much but you'll love him anyway. Oh that and you find out the "vegans" sneak bacon rolls now and then..

To Scores, Girl may you never change, keep that "cheeky grin" on your face even if it's only "PC" that gets to see it...

To Savoy, Chin up, things will work out in the end, have a great 2009.

To Louie, May you and Sibby have a great 2009 in Fl, and may those with homework learn to use Google rather than CL:1...

To Mark & Emma, I hope 2009 is as much fun as 2008, I'm sorry I've not been in touch very often but well I've had other things on my mind.

To Richard & Philippa, may 2009 bring you closer together even if you are miles apart.

To Barry, mate keep up the good work, have a wonderful 2009.

To Andy & Karen, you 2 keep loving each other and that sweet child of yours in 2009.

To Jenny & Gregor, may 2009 bring nothing but joy to you and "Gregor" Jnr, even although he do look a lot like his mama, all I can say is when he grows up, he'll break a few hearts just a few..

And Finally this post wouldn't be complete without a mention of my Best mate in the whole world, and I got a few of them and his lovely wife, and their beautiful new ba boy. So To Stu & Annelise may 2009 bring new wonders into your lives, new discoveries, wondrous 1sts and so forth..

Hugs To one and all

And to all a Good night.

Merry Christmas..

Gordon

Merry Christmas to one and all

Well it's almost that most wondrous time of the year again.
Now I did have a great post to put here but well if hasn't gone and left the building just now, I guess I should really write them down when I think of them and post THAT day!

To all my friends far and wide, blogger and non-blogger alike Merry Christmas. The following are in no particular order.

To Moogie smile, keep the chin up, it will get better, those angelic children will become angelic once more it will just take a little while, have a great christmas and may you be always able to find the exact thing you need at the moment you need it.

To Barb, dear barb I think your finally there where you've always wanted to be, may birddog continue to serve you well and may midnight and nino finally realize that you love them both in equal measure but in different ways. May you never stop writing on your blog as it's always a pleasure to read even when you ranting about something I can normally see why. May the bean always be perfect

To Melonie may the work you do have continue to have an impact on the lives it crosses and may it reward you in a way you didn't think possible. I hope that all the kids continue to know that you love them all dearly even when they've done something really bad / stupid and they are banish to their room.

To Shy, may things all work out and may your son continue to surprise you in a nice way of course. Keep the faith it's hard going but just keep the faith and know that no matter how many miles away you are, I'm always thinking about you at some point in the day.

To Katt, hmm what can I say other than this dear friend smile, even in the face of adversity smile and keep on smiling, never give up on your ideas people will come round to them it just may take some time.

To Marie, we touched base but once this year and that was enough to keep me smiling fo r the rest of the day, thank you for being a friend and introducing me to erm some "band" called "Snow Patrol" I never can thank you enough for that.

To Jean-Luc, may 2009 be as exciting as 2008 on you blog with all its twists and turns. Oh and try and keep my away from the Klingon Bloodwine and Romulan Ale and keep me away from all Ferengi, lest I remind them of a few of the nastier "Rules of Acquisition".. Live long and prosper.

To my Free-DC team mates, you guys Rock each and everyone of you. Just a few special mentions to Bok - thanks man for letting me loose on the stats and giving me something else to do for the team. I'll keep polishing 'em up I promise. IB, ye old Target Butt you may not understand all this new fangled DB stuff but you still manage to get there in the end. AMDave, those charts of yours get any more shiny and well erm we'll have the #1 slot of DC project stats on the planet, oh wait we already DO :D.. HelixVonSmelix, dude to you major kudos to you and that machine will rock when I get another PSU, the one in my main machine went funny. Also to Team Seti-USA I take my hat of to you guys, I know I don't visit the forum much but I've been busy making the shiny, shinier :)...

To Junebugg, You keep me smiling with your jokes and funny e-mails don't stop sending them, just know that most of them make me crack a smile. Let's hope 2009 is a little less windy in 'bama.

To Hannah, It is amazing how people meet up in blogspace, how close they can end up no matter how far away they are. I do hope everything works out for you next year since we both know this year wasn't very good one for both of us.

To Laura, dear sweet Laura, bet ya though I had forgotten you there didn't ya, not a chance. I know we've both been busy this year and keeping in touch has been some what fragmented I'll try my best to sort that. Smile and give that dear sweet mum of yours a hug from me for simply bringing the world a wonderful, beautiful young lady.

And Finally this list wouldn't be complete without my mentioning my adopted lil sis.
To Jen, I know it hurts, it hurts a lot, I'm now writing this though misty eyes as I remember things. Just know this even although I am not exactly nearby just know I do think about you and your mum, I'm glad I know you, you and Laura are some of a select few who can manage to cheer me up no matter what and I can only try and do the same for you.

So to one and all have a Merry Christmas and remember a smile costs nothing and hugs are on the house.

Hugs to you all.

G

It's a wrap...

Yes it's that time again, all the presents are bought and now all I have to do is wrap them up which is always fun since well I rarely buy things that are regularly shaped it's quite funny. This year however I've don't think I've gotten anything odd to wrap up, no wait I have those chocolates from Thornton's to wrap up. What is it about that place and Christmas that means I can't go past the shop without going in and buying stuff for people.

Christmas Cards

Well To anyone in the UK wanting to send cards out to your friends / relations in oz, well it might not get there for Christmas "par avion" as you've missed the last date for sending 'em, those for the US / Canada well you got until the 10th and Europe is pretty much the 12th.
Just a little reminder to my readers from overseas that you cards have indeed been posted and you should get them before Christmas and yes before you wonder the individual cards are there too, I started it so I will continue it that way at least until they've moved out :P

To those who's address I don't have, I am thinking about you no matter how far away you are even if you don't blog...

Holding it together even if a bit shaky

Well it's getting towards that time of year again, Christmas :)....
Well I thought today I'll go and get all the Christmas cards and start and get them ready to post out to my far away friends and their families. Yes I mean You dear reader, well many of you, some of you may read this and be disappointed that no card appears, I can hardly send a proper card to an e-mail address so some of you may end up with e-cards.
I was in my usual card shop getting cards, the boxes of card for friends, and the special ones for family. Well there I got smacked with it right in the kisser, "To Mum and Dad at Christmas" or similar and well it got me for a moment, I had a little cry to myself which thankfully no-one saw and composed myself once again when Slade - Christmas Time came on, that helped :) a lot.

So dear friends, when your sending out your cards this year, remember those who've lost someone this year.

So across the miles, virtual or otherwise here a great big hug from me to you guys out there, keep on smiling.

G