Well I decided a few weeks ago that I wouldn't get anymore alchol like i normally do when Im not working the next day, so far so go, been almost a month.
Alcohol wasn't "doing anything" for me, wasn't helping me forget, was more like showing me the "darkness" Not a Good Idea at all.
I watched Donnie Darko the other week on DVD and I got it 1st time, got me thinking it did..... Life is what it is and nothing can change that even if you could change time other things you might not want to happen will happen... A Paradoxical Thought eh..
"The Darkness....."
Hmm why I still go back to all the point of my first true relationship, looking for things I could have done differently, things I should have done, things I shouldn't have (possibly), should have said, should never have said (words can hurt greater than any blade can). Think IF ONLY, but now it's too late for that.
Those who say "you'll get over it" or "go out and find someone new" have never felt the true pain of breaking up with someone you deeply love.
Im one of those people, I wear my heart on my sleeve, what can I say...
I show my emotions the full range, I cry, weep, sob, smile, laugh, giggle, glow with inner happiness, blush, grimice and all the other emotions you can feel... although the negitive ones don't get to rear there head that often, I try not to bear grudges etc..
There I've Said it.. Heartache takes Time but at least I can say "I feel"
1 comment:
I had a break up over two and a half years ago. It was terrible. Instead of just feeling like I had lost a boyfriend I felt like someone had died. He quit talking to me completely and all my friends took his side. I had noone. At times I wanted to die. All I ever wanted to do was sleep. I hated dreaming though, because I would dream we were back together and I would wake up to disapointment. I felt like I was dying inside. I ended up physically sick. I got pnemonia more than twice. I started doing drugs to forget the pain. I ended up having to see a psychiatrist. It did take time though. And I can honestly say that now I am over him. As hard as it was. It took a little over a year to get over him. And two and a half years later i am completely over him. I am happy now. I'm still not ready for a new relationship though. That will take time too. Time to build up trust and to let the walls that have formed around my heart slowly be lifted.
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