Okay here's the situation as you know mum isn't well, got headaches but the doc says she'll have them for a few months due to the operation she had, Dad isn't keep so good and what doesn't help is my "delightful" sisters coming in and yelling at mum to not do something like she's 5 yr old in front of my dad who they are "worried" about.
Now they are threatening to put her in a home which I think will pretty much kill dad but of course they are so blind they won't see that - my oldest sister I think is comparing mum to her mother-in-law who had senile demetia or parkinson's or something like that and couldn't be trust with anything. I get half the story from them and then I get the other half when I get home and the thing is, mum can do stuff she knows her limits or rather thinks she does steps over them and feels crap and get dad worried..
I'm doing what I can honest and dad knows this.
Okay she was told not to do anything heavy duty, no hoovering, ironing etc anything that would involve a lot of weight on her right hand as it's not 100% yet, she did get taking in on sunday as she did some hoovering but I think she overdid it - lesson learned - no she got shouted at on the monday about it, I get "told" as well, getting sick of that "tone" now.
Also she was told there was stuff in the freezer that she could cook for her and dad if I was going to be late or if they fancied it but now she isn't allowed as they might want chips with it - thing is this, mother never ever leaves the chip pan unattended - we have one that sits on the stove, it does the job nicely but no that's not good enough I think what's happening is sisters are hearing 2nd / 3rd hand and taking it the wrong way, nothing new there! She was told off about that as well before the both stormed out, now what was I saying about 5 yr olds...
None of this of course helps dad out he gets tensed up and that him all day practically. Today one of them was in and acted like "nothing" had gone on, no apology nothing....
So the question is this HOW The funk would you deal with this, stuck in the middle as I am should do apart from take both my sisters and bang their heads together!
I don't think mum should be in a home but I won't be asked that question as my sister will DECIDE, over my dad's dead body - his words by the way, not mine.
4 comments:
That's horrible threatening to send her to a home :( They don't sound understanding at all and I could never do that.
The only thing I'd probably do is stand my ground but I have no experience of family stuff like that as I'm lucky to be the only child!
*hugs*
That is too bad. How could be your sisters so insensitive towards your own mother? Ithink you should go ahead and bangs their heads together. It would save everyone a lot of trouble. Frankly speaking, I want to do that for you..
Michele sent me here your way to give you a hug.
Dealing with an aging parent is really tough. My grandmother past away a few weeks ago. My dad and his siblings did their best to keep her at home for the last few months but it was very hard and took a lot of cooperation. I hope you and your sisters can agree on a plan of action.
Sounds a lot like what I went through with my sisters and parents. Is it possible to hire someone to come in part time to help out and just be around while you're at work? Doesn't have to be a professional, anyone who can pick up and cook a bit is all that's needed. Is there a senior center where they can go spent a part of the day? Even out here in the boonies We have one that's open all day during the week where oldsters can spend time with their peers playing cards and talking plus it provides lunch.
And your sisters have to have legal rights to do anything with your Mom, it's you're Dad's call not a childs. Wish I could help more but dealing with family is always a pain in the ass and no joke
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