My Grandmother

Hmm well sharon got me thinking about my grandparents..
I never got to know either of my grandfathers which is a pity as my mother's father sounded a really nice gentleman to know and well my other grandfather I'm kinda glad I didn't hmm if my dad is anything to go by, but thats a whole other can of worms. I only really knew my mum's mum, my nana as I called her. Was great every weekend we go and stay there, watch "CHiPs" and things like that, it was the early 80's, eat gammon flavour crisps hmm darn you can't get them and smoky bacon just aint the same.. Anyway I'll never forget the day we found her dead, I think we'd went down to see if she needed anything from the shops or something I was only 5/6 at the time.. there she was laying on the floor between the kitchen and the living room, toast was burning, she can't have been long dead as the toast wasn't that burnt (or at least I think it was).. Then it was all a blur.. Me and my sister got shunted out the way while the family took care of it, I don't even know where she's buried. It seems I wasn't to get to know because I was too young.. I hurts a little. My other gran died not that long ago, I didn't really know her at all yet I was expected to go. I was working that day, in the same company I work for just now, my sister worked there and was going, I didn't I couldn't I don't know what it is about my father family that just makes me steer clear of them.. Only one I give a stuff about is an uncle who is mentally retarded, a little slow on the uptake of things but he's alright the others I dont give a toss for.. Sorry Nana i haven't been to see you, one day I will, one day.. I'll find the courage in my heart to find you..
Darn that was hard to write..